From Hannukah to Vietnam and back to The Jing

Hello all. It's me, Blake. I know I have been away from the blog for a while so I hope you all remember who I am and what this blog is about. If you can't remember it is about me. Me me me. Well, not just about me but about things I think, do, and say. This is why I have been hesitant to return to the blog. I am not that cool. I have been quite boring in recent months. The details of my boring life do not make for good reading or writing.

This has all changed in the last couple of weeks. Things have happened. Initially I wanted to write this blog twice a month but sticking to that would mean you having to read about my breakfast plans and the new video games and dvd's I've seen recently. You don't want that and I don't want that. It is better to wait, that way I can amass a few anecdotes and have enough time for things to happen to me and around me. The wait was worth it and I hope you'll agree.

This last month has been about uncertainty. Towards the end of 2007 I was uncertain whether I wanted to keep being the good soldier in regards to my job. I was trying to organize a short vacation to South East Asia but that was.....rife with uncertainty. I couldn't decide what to do about learning Chinese (take classes or get a tutor).

Lets begin at the beginning.

December was an unusually warm month in Beijing. The weather couldn't decide what it wanted to do so the temperature remained around 50 degrees for most of the month. This unfamiliar circumstance confused many of the local people and the topic of global warming was discussed openly and often. This is a rare topic of conversation in my experience. Many of the Chinese people I talk to every day were concerned about the environment. Usually this conversation ends up going down the path of the party line, "Economic development is a priority and the environment can be dealt with later." Not this time. Now people are starting to wonder.

As December pressed on I lowered my head and began to focus on ending the year strong at work. Long ago I proposed the creation of a basketball team at my school. My boss, an Englishman, was keen on the idea and left it to me to organize. I had some problems finding a good court but with the help of some eager students and staff members a site was found. We had our first practice before December was out and it served as preview of what is possible. See, my boss, the Englishman, wants to create a team that will compete against the 11 other Wall Street English schools. We think that by the numbers alone we should have the best basketball team among the Wall Street schools in Beijing. We have 2,000 students giving us the largest talent pool from which to draw. Only time and many difficult practices under my watchful eye can mold us into a formidable team to be feared.

As December, and 2007, drew to a close I was at a New Years party. The party was held in the ever popular 798 Factory. This is an old Mao Era factory that has been converted to an art space. There are many many buildings on the grounds and on New Year's Eve one was converted to a club. It was an interesting location for a techno infused New Years party. Immediately after the first kiss of 2008 I shouted, "The Olympics are so close now!" It's true, they are. A second round of ticket orders was supposed to take place in October but, due to technical difficulties in the online ordering process, it was postponed to December. I placed two more ticket orders; one for boxing and one for basketball. I will find out if I get the tickets sometime around January 30th.

On the first morning of 2008 I headed to Vietnam. I had been trying to get there for several weeks but as always, everything in China is difficult. I was heading there to meet up with Dee Dee and Garry for a short four day visit and to take in the sights and landmarks of this oft conflicted land. The first things I noticed after stepping off the plane in Ho Chi Minh City were the humidity and the lush vegetation Both are extremely rare in Beijing which is mostly gray and concrete. The motorbikes, even at 12am, are stunning not only for the awesome visual display the throngs of them create on the street but for the collective hum of the engines as well. The next morning I woke and met Garry and Dee Dee for our first day of touring. It was great to see them and it felt like ages since our last meeting.

The first order of business was heading to the Mekong Delta for a trip to the other side of the Mekong River. We crossed the 2 kilometer long river by boat and arrived at a small fruit plantation where they were making a fresh coconut candy that smelled and tasted terrific. They also had a large, clear, plastic water dispenser. This was no ordinary water dispenser. This container housed a special local liquor made of snakes. In the jug there were about ten snakes coiled up adding their natural juices to this strong alcohol. I tried some and it wasn't bad. I even bought a bottle of it that had a cobra on the inside. I am not sure if it is customary to eat the cobra after the liquor is gone as you would with the worm in a tequila bottle. The trip to the fruit plantation was really great. We even visited a villager's house and were able to see how the average Vietnamese person lives. This was not a scheduled stop on the tour but It was glad we did it. The terrain was mystifying. How could anyone think that a war there was winnable? The Vietnamese have a long history of tossing out invading forces going all the way back to Genghis Kahn and the Chinese. Everyone we encountered was great. They were all very nice and that was something I didn't expect. I thought ill will would persist. Our tour guide told us that her father died in the war. I didn't probe her regarding which side he was fighting for but later in the trip she told us he was fighting with the Americans. She said that he died fighting for American freedom. Is this what she really thought or was she being ironic or making a comment about the nature of the war? I was confused and still am. American freedom? War is a terrible thing and that point was reiterated the next day when we visited the Kuchi Tunnels.

The Kuchi Tunnels are a system of tunnels that the Vietcong used during the war. The site is set up to accommodate the throngs of tourists that must visit there but the day we went there were very few other tourists. The site is chilling. Set in the middle of the jungle about 5 kilometers form the Cambodian border, it serves as part history museum, part war memorial, and part house of horrors. They showed us all the booby traps that were created to maim and kill American soldiers and that was a bit too much for me, thinking of how many of my uncle's friends were hurt or killed by such horrendous devices. At one point in the tour we were given the option of entering the tunnels to see what they were like. I decided to go. The tunnels are quite small, made for Vietnamese men not big westerners. The tunnels were pitch black as well.

Most of the rest of our trip was spent laughing and catching up with one another. We had some great meals together. I never knew much about Vietnamese food but it was all made with very fresh ingredients and lime abounded.

We received some bad news on the second to last day of our trip. Our loving family dog Bari died. She was 17 years old. I got her when I was 8 and we had been through a lot together. We rescued her from the pound where she was weeks from execution. She was a great dog and we all loved her very much. Bari even went to college with me and although she didn't earn her degree she enjoyed the experience. She slipped into a coma and died sometime later. She had been diagnosed with complete kidney and liver failure in May of 2007 and given weeks to live. She hung on long enough for me to see her while I was back in the USA and I appreciated that very much. She had a good long life and she was a very loving dog. She will be missed by everyone she knew.

Here is the last picture taken of Bari in her new winter gear.

I had a really great time in Vietnam with Garry and Dee Dee. They are both a lot of fun. This was my first international vacation with them as an adult. It was great to be alone with them and pick their brains and laugh with them. They are, for some reason, very proud of me. What seems strange for me to say, but it remains true, is that I am proud of them. They go on all these vacations and have tons of fun and that is what they want to do. they are living their dream and I admire that.

After our goodbyes I boarded the plane and returned to Beijing and its frozen plain. When I returned I had the weekend before returning to work. I decided to do something that I had put off doing for several years now. I joined the other members of my generation in the 21st century and bought an iPod. I am glad I did this because I have now discovered podcasts. Podcasts are like radio shows you can download and listen to at any time on your iPod. I have downloaded Chinese lessons and I listen to them on the subway as I commute to and from work every day. This is great because I was starting to become regretful about not maintaining my Chinese study.

In another bit of technology news, I was the recipient of a Slingbox. You may remember from my previous blog entry that I expressed a desire in this fabulous new technology that allows a user to watch and control a TV from across the globe. Well my grandmother bought one for me for Christmas (thank you very much Mimi) and my father installed it on his television (thank you very much Dad). So far I have had a few battles over the remote with my Dad but we generally like the same things (sports).

Things have become a little more comfortable here in Beijing with the addition of the Slingbox and my iPod. I was also given some good news recently. My sister is coming to visit me in March. I am super excited for that. My father will be coming here at some point as well. I welcome all visitors. If as a reader of my blog you would like Blake's Tour of Beijing, just send me an email and I'll see what I can do for you. All visitors are welcome.

In February I will be going on vacation for a week for Spring Festival (Chinese New Year). I am still trying to decide where to go (maybe Taiwan). If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to send them my way.

I wish all of you health and prosperity in this new year.

Dsai jien.

Happy Holidays! Winter is finally starting to settle in here and as the air gets even drier and days shorter thoughts are turning to the new year and the excitement and possibility that is holds.

Thanksgiving has come and gone since I last posted. Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday and as such I was a little homesick during that time. I was able to find my way to a Thanksgiving dinner at a local western restaurant. the restaurant is called Steak and Eggs and it is run by a Canadian guy. They mostly serve diner food there but the place was packed with patrons being served full Thanksgiving meals. The dinner included your choice of salad or soup along with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, mixed veggies, and a tablespoon of cranberry sauce. The meal was something you'd find in your local freezer section. Terrible. At the end they gave us the choice of pumpkin or apple pie. Now, I really don't like pumpkin pie. I ordered it anyway and I realized something, pumpkin pie is good. I now see what everybody has been talking about my whole life. Pumpkin pie IS good.

The week after Thanksgiving I was enlisted by my employer to give a short speech to some potential students. This speech is a once a week affair where a teacher speaks on any subject for ten minutes. The speech is part of a longer recruitment process. Wall Street advertises in newspapers and magazines throughout China. The adverts come with a coupon for a free 'demo' class. The prospective clients then come to Wall Street and are subjected to my rants for ten minutes. Anyway, that week I was quite busy and couldn't think of anything to talk to the prospective students about. As I walked into the room I decided I would talk to them about fantasy sports. That might seem like an odd topic to present, but my role in the recruitment process is to be friendly and unintelligible. We are directed to speak way over their heads as to humiliate them into studying English with us. I spoke to about 40 potential students about the strategy and scoring in fantasy basketball. It is kind of fun to be able to talk about whatever you want but it is never fun to speak to a group of 40 people who have no idea what you are talking about. As the ten minutes ended I walked out and our center director walked in the room. Before the door was shut he said, in Chinese, "Didn't understand, huh?" I don't know where the sales pitch goes from there but an hour or so later everyone emerges from the room and about 1/3 of them sign up for classes. Oh, the extra incentive here is that teachers who give this sort of speech are given 100 RMB for every student that signs up. This makes me wonder if blowing them away with my English skills is the way to go in recruitment. Next time I'll pick an easier topic and see if there is a difference.

I was also roped into teaching a special class for two weeks while another teacher was on vacation. I have explained English corner in the past, but in case you missed it here is a quick review. English corner is a class where there are about 60 students and one teacher who picks a topic and then creates a list of vocabulary and discussion questions. It is a very open class that is meant to instigate a conversation in English among the Chinese students. As a teacher I just float around and join some conversations. These last two weeks I have been taking over the movie corners. In movie corner, the teacher prepares a movie and makes notes regarding vocabulary, slang, and phrases. The movie is then shown to the students in parts and the plot is explained and narrated by the teacher. Two weeks ago I showed them Blades of Glory and last week I showed them Envy. Envy, for those of you who are unfamiliar with it, is a movie about a man who grows insanely jealous when his friend invents a spray that can make dog crap disappear. Remember that my students area ll adults and most of them are business professionals. My handout for the class included all the words for crap that they use in the movie. I listed shit as a vocabulary word and I had several students thank me afterwards. They told me that this is a word that they have heard thousands of times and in many different scenarios and they could not tell what it meant from context alone. It is essentially like teaching Western culture through movies that center on poop jokes. The poop jokes make them laugh and that keeps them interested. I have to do the movie corner again this week and I need some suggestions. Comedies work best. Dramas are too complicated and not as interesting to them. They like to see white people act silly, that's why they come see me.

As I am writing this, I am watching Mizzou basketball on ESPN. I am so lucky. I have found many different ways to watch American sports and and just in time too. Last week I went to a large sports bar to watch the Missouri Tigers play the Kansas team in a game of American football. I was a little alarmed when I walked into the bar (at 9am) and there was an older white man who was totally wasted. I became even more alarmed when they told me the game wasn't on TV. There were about two handfuls of people there to watch the game decked out in Mizzou and KU gear. They were not happy. One many finally piped up that he bought a Slingbox and if the bar had a computer and a projector then we could all watch the game.

Let me tell you about this Slingbox. Slingbox is every expat's dream. Slingbox works over the internet. You hook it up to a cable connection and an internet connection. Then you can go online with a user name and password and though the internet you can watch any TV channel that is part of your cable package. (Hanukkah is coming)

Anyway, this guy had a Slingbox connected to his home TV in Kansas City so we were able to pull the game up on the computer and then project it onto the big screen. It was a moment that the technology was created for. I then was able to exchange barbs with the KU fans and relish the sweet victory. That taste made no appearence this weekend as I returned to the same bar to watch the Big 12 Championship. The good folks at the bar lifted the guy's Slingbox login and, eventhough he was back in America, I was able to watch the game all alone on the big screen.

Tonight I am going out to Tongzhou, where I lived last year. I am going to dinner with some of the teachers I worked with last year. I haven't been out there since I retruned to Beijing in August. Like all things in China, Tongzhou has changed a lot in the course of the last year. Tongzhou lies in the eastern part of Beijing. It serves as a sort of Chinese Levittown. There are no houses, only giant apartment complexes. Most of the residents work in the heart of the city. This has even propted one person to tell me that Beijing sleeps in Tongzhou. I have recently been involved in several conversations with my student's regarding China's past and future. Of course feelings about the past are mixed. Everyone is unequivocally optimistic about how 'great' China will be in the future. Two days ago I went for some drinks with some of my coworkers and students. On our way to the bar we passed the CCTV tower. My student remarked to me that the tower represents the uncertainty and fragility of China's future. I believe this to be true. There is a not so quiet confidence that everyone has in China and its future. Often times negatives and weaknesses are overlooked in favor of the economic potential of China. This is a conversation for another day.

Take care everyone, and happy holidays.

Hello From The 11th Floor of Chaoyang Gardens

Well, I guess this is the first blog of the rest of my life. I haven't been too faithful in the last two months. I've been trying to adjust to my new life and erratic work schedule. I have had a few chances to go out and have a little fun but those chances have been few and far between. It seems as though I am a working man, not that it agrees with me.

I have been working six days a week since I began almost nine weeks ago. I work a half day on Monday and a half day on Wednesday. The one full day I get off is Tuesday. Now, I know China is quite different from the USA but a few things remain the same such as Tuesdays being crap. To celebrate my 'weekends' I usually head up to The Goose and Duck , a watering hole I have referred to in previous posts (most notably as the location where I was able to watch the NCAA tournament last year). At the new location, not too far from my apartment, they have a batting cage and a nine foot basketball rim. On most Monday nights I head up there and impress only myself by dunking and ripping line drives.

My work day is from 1pm to 9pm during the week. On the weekend I work from 9-5 like a normal person, except it is on the weekend. I rarely get to see my friends outside of Bryne. The 'grind' is starting to wear on me. Not that everything is terrible, I get paid well, although at times I feel like I am in some sort of Greek play. I get paid more money than I need in China but I have no time to spend it. It took me two weeks to get a bathmat.

I do like the students at my school. I teach four different types of classes: Encounter, Social Club, Communication Class, and English Corner. Encounters have no more than four students and this is where they are assessed through as series of exercises based on material they have previously been taught. After the hour long class I have to grade each student and give them help with chronic errors (gender errors are most common as Mandarin has one pronoun that is used for men, women, or anything else, ta). Social Clubs revolve around a weekly theme such as interviews, movies, or, as I taught in a very unsuccessful class, Mayan culture. There are 12 students in these classes and they are basically given a little information or a few activities and they communicate with each other. The teacher does very little in these classes. The next type is the communication class. These are essentially the same as the Social Clubs except there are eight students and the activities do not necessarily center on a theme. In communication classes the teacher does a moderate amount of error correction. English Corners are great. They are open to all students so sometimes you have 60 students and sometimes you have two ( I had an English corner with only 2 students during the National Day holiday). English Corners are great because the teacher picks a topic and speaks for about 10 minutes about it and then the students just have independent conversations about it in their groups of four. Recent topics I have chosen are How to be a Hobo, Happiness is a Warm Gun, Material Culture, and Food is Awesome.

I know I shouldn't do this but I had a funny response from a student. I think it is ok because we all got a laugh out of it. I was teaching a lower level class and trying to elicit clothing vocabulary. I said, "What is an item that you wear around your neck?" The students were silent for a moment before one began gesturing. We want the students to speak in full sentences and this girl was a good student so she finally said, "Crap, I wear crap around my neck." I paused, hard. Her eyes widened. All four students erupted simultaneously. She meant scarf.

The other week we had a Halloween party at the center. All the teachers dressed up as did some of the students. I went as a Mexican wrestler with tights, a title belt, and an awesome mask (thanks Rebekah). We had face painting, card reading, and a movie room which showed horror movies all night. The students loved seeing their teachers dressed up. I must have posed for about 100 photos. I think it was the tights.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Champagne brunch with my friends Steve, Cromwell, and Colm. Cromwell and Colm have great jobs and make boatloads of cash. Steve and I make a teacher's salary. This did not prevent all of us meeting at the Intercontinental Hotel in the new Financial District of Beijing (this newly constructed area is Beijing's answer to Shanghai and Hong Kong. Beijing is trying to redirect the economic expansion through the capital as the southeastern provinces are where most of the investment and wealth is concentrated). This champagne brunch came on the heels of my first weekend day off since returning to Beijing. I woke up early on Sunday morning regretting getting after things the way I had the night before. A big brunch cures all ills, however. The spread was amazing. Three different kinds of lox IN ADDITION to a whole smoked salmon. There was more sushi than I have ever seen before as well as four kinds of caviar, Crab legs, muscles, and oysters. That was just the seafood table. Other highlights include surprisingly good bbq (KC style), Beijing roast duck, curry bowls, and cooked to order meats. As I said, it was a champagne brunch, so we kept our designated pour man busy. It ended up being a bit on the expensive side but it was well worth the five hours we spent dissecting the buffet with a surgeon's precision. Afterwards we decided we would have to make this event a once a month endeavor. Too bad I don't get weekends off any more.

Note: I didn't even mention desserts.

In China news, the pollution seems to be worse than ever. I heard form some of my friends and family that this is being reported in the US. It is mad. It is quite strange because it is not always smoggy. Some days are crystal clear. Some days have a haze. Other days look like the sun does not appear and everything is bathed in an ambient light that is quite post-apocalyptic. At any rate, Beijing is going through its annual dry out and the combination of cold, dry air and pollution is uncomfortable. My lips are quite chapped (Kevin).

Random Facts and Thoughts

-Housing prices in Beijing have skyrocketed over the last couple of years. One area that seems immune to this problem is the south side. Apparently, no one wants anything to do with the south side because it is where all the state executions took place, how far in the past I do not know.

-Red devil horns with flashing lights were all the rage during Halloween with 3 out of 5 girls going as 'a devil'.

-Hooters opened a restaurant in Beijing about a month ago. From what I've heard, less than 100 percent of the business model is in effect here...red shorts instead of orange.

- If one Yuan = 12 cents US, how can there be so many things that cost one Yuan here? Why are there no 12 cent stores in the US?

- Beijing's new opera house opened recently. It looks like a spaceship. Mao is encased in glass and formaldehyde not 150 paces from this interesting piece of architecture.

- The street DVD's I enjoyed so much last year seem to have vanished almost overnight. Since the national day holiday in the first week of October there has been a crackdown on all things counterfeit. Also, there are a lot fewer beggars in the streets and on the subway. They probably all got high paying jobs.

- I think Indian food is the best food in the world.


I am planning on visiting Vietnam during December. I will be meeting my mom and Garry there. We are still trying to iron out the details but I think it will be four days in Hanoi and Hulong Bay. That should be a nice little vacation for me. The warmer climes come a calling in late December and who am I to ignore the call of a clime?

This is my day off, a Tuesday, so I better get my business in order. Take care all. Dsai Jian.

The Apartment, The Job, and The Olympics

Well, here I am writing from the comfort of my apartment. It was a long frustrating process but I finally have an apartment. My company referred me to an agent named Frank. Frank is a very nice and patient man. I emailed him my preferences in regards to an apartment and within one day we were taking cabs all over Beijing looking at different complexes. Frank and I spent three days together and must have looked at seven apartments. Finally, I settled on one.

I am living with Bryne in what is definitely the nicest apartment I have ever lived in. As for the location, it could be better. I am living about seven subway stops from my work and it takes me about 45 minutes to commute. I don't mind the commute so much because I am in love with my apartment. The complex is only about eight years old and it is has quite a few conveniences that I am unaccustomed to having at my disposal. Included with our rent is membership at the gym which is located underground. The gym has a pool, sauna, and steam room. Above ground, the complex has a small grocery store (vastly overpriced) , hair salon, and a dentist.

I don't want this post to become one long ode to my apartment BUT,I really love the furniture. In China, when you rent an apartment it comes fully furnished. This was yet another factor to consider when I was looking at apartments. We actually have three couches! Couches are important to me. I like to sit on them. We have three bedrooms and two bathrooms along with a kitchen and a laundry room (sans dryer). I am extremely happy with the apartment.

Two days after moving in I began my training at Wall Street English. The 40 hour training was at times tedious but it was necessary. Wall Street has a lot of processes and paper work that are not intuitive. After the training, from September 3rd to the 8th, I had the weekend off before beginning live teaching on Monday the 10th. I was given an option for my schedule. Since the clients of my English school are mostly working adults, the majority of classes are booked in the late afternoon and evening. On most days I go to work from 1pm to 9pm. Also, as a result of our clients working full time, the weekend is a very popular time to schedule classes. The center where I am working is the largest center Wall Street has in China; 2,500 students study there.
All this means a funky schedule. Currently I am working a six day week. I work four days consecutively and on the fifth day I only work four hours in the morning. The sixth day I have off and the seventh day I work four hours in the evening. This schedule is terrible considering my 'weekend' is only one day and it is usually a Tuesday. I will talk to my boss when I return to work and see if I can do something about this situation.

The only weekend I did have off, after the training, I was able to get out and have some fun. During the summer Beijing plays host to many different concerts and festival. The first weekend in September brings the Beijing Pop Festival. I went for one reason and one reason only. Public Enemy was the headlining act on Saturday night. The Beijing Pop Festival does not attract many great or famous bands but how could I miss Public Enemy in Beijing? I must say that I was a little disappointed. It just doesn't fit my memories and perceptions of Public Enemy when the concert is sponsored by Master Card, Dior, and American Airlines. They played what is probably their most famous song, 'Fight the Power'. As they began I had to take a step back. I was hoping they wouldn't play it. Think about it, Public Enemy, one of the most politically charged hip-hop groups ever, playing a song called Fight the Power to a group of Chinese youths. All sponsored by Master Card. The meaning was incredibly diluted for me.

In other news my favorite bar, Nan Jie, was officially destroyed two weeks ago. It was a sad day. I was there the last night before the dawn that brought the wrecking ball. I found solace in the fact that the owners of Nan Jie were opening a new Nan Jie just a few blocks away form the old one. I attended the New Nan Jie 's opening night party. I must say it is not the same. The new location attracts an older and more elegant crowd. The old place let people write on the walls and it was nothing more than an overgrown trailer with a dance floor. The new one has two stories and a balcony and even has bottle service. I am not a bottle service type of guy. It seems that New Nan Jie is devoid of the character and charm of the old locale but it has retained its cheap drink prices so...I'm there.

Things have been extra busy for me recently. I work a whole lot more than I did last year and I'm still getting used to my six day schedule. All in all it is still good to be back in The Jing.

I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!

Almost immediately after publishing my last blog I got an email from the Beijing Olympic ticket sales office. I got tickets! I am extremely excited. This was one of my biggest reasons for returning to Beijing and I will definitely be there. I got four tickets in all; two for track and field on the day of the men's 100m final, and two for swimming on the day of the men's 4x100 relay. I love the Olympics. I love it so much that I capitalize it every time. I love it so much I am thinking about paying an exorbitent amount for basketball gold medal game tickets. I love it so much I am thinking of ordering a Captain America superhero outfit on EBay just to wear at the Olympics (and any other time I feel super). My love of the Olympics goes back to 1988. I remember watching Riddick Bowe and Roy Jones. I remember Greg Louganis almost dying. I remember Flo-Jo's three golds and a silver. I became fascinated with sport and it is a fascination that has lasted to this day. All this being said I am secretly pissed that I didn't get my team handball tickets. I love team handball, it is something you should know about me.

Happy New Year!

Home Is Where The Home Is

WARNING: This entry of my blog is filled with meandering and, at times, incoherent/disconnected ideas and stories. Stream of consciousness is the only way to get it all out there.


It has been several weeks since my last post regarding my tip to Xi'an and final days in Beijing. A lot has happened since then. Well, maybe not outwardly. I mean the world is still turning, Bush is still president, and the Earth is still the third closest planet to the sun. For me, inside me, I feel like my time in China was merely a dream. What makes it more real for me is being able to tell my stories and remembering situations and places that are forever burned into my memory. Now that I am back it feels like my time in China was just a dream but I know when I go back to Beijing I will see my time in the US as the dream.

Things change in a year. Friends move away and get new jobs. M&M's go to dark chocolate. People grow a year older. Loved ones get sick. Friends get married and buy houses. McDonald's gets a new chicken wrap. All these changes, big and small, combined to give me a fair amount of culture shock upon my return.

The United States seems like the richest, cleanest, most futuristic place on earth. Downey wrinkle releaser. This is a spray that 'releases' wrinkles. We need that in China. Where are all the piles of used coals and used sticks that formerly had fried meats on them? You mean I don't have to grab napkins every time I want to go to the bathroom? I have to stand in line?

There were a whole lot of old things that became new again. I think this is the greatest benefit of travel. Once you return you begin to look at things differently. You see that there is more than one way to do everything. You gain a new appreciation for the simple things in your life and begin to think about the things that matter. I am so glad I was out of the country for all the Anna Nicole/Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan "news stories". I had very little tolerance for that stuff before and now it makes my blood boil.

Anyway, things that were old and are new again/things I missed and didn't even know: beds (sooooo soft), chairs (not 8 inches from the ground), baseball, swimming pools, hot dogs, ceiling fans, thick carpet, central air, driving, different kinds of beer, communicating in my native language, and ice. Ice is the best.

I have gained 10 pounds since returning from China. While there I lost 20 so I guess I am still 10 down but wow. It took cheese three weeks to do what six months of Chinese food did. I have been hitting all my old favorite restaurants in what can only be described as a gastronomic tour of the United States. While in Texas I indulged in Whataburger and a Taco Cabana within an hour of landing. The next few days were spent on Lee Hamilton's famous smoked chicken, Tex-Mex, and pizza. Upon returning to St. Louis I had a gyro, hot dog, nachos, chicken wings, chili, patty melt, fried okra, hot dogs, and fried chicken. These are all things I will go without for another year.

I have gotten back on a regiment of eating a little smarter and working out a little bit more. I really miss playing basketball. That was my primary form of exercise but here in the US there are fewer public places to play and fewer people playing. In a country of 1.3 billion you always have someone to play with.

One thing I noticed right away as I flew into LAX from Seoul was golf courses. I have flown to many parts of China and have never seen one golf course. Between Santa Barbara and LA, I saw almost a dozen. Land use in the US seems so well thought out. Zoning is key to this. In the US we have a very clear distinction between commercial and private areas. Whats more we have certain kinds of shops in certain zones. In China it is not uncommon to walk by a restaurant, next to a kids clothing store, with a porn shop next to that, and all these places will have apartments directly above them.


All that has been written prior to this point was written in the USA now I am back in China.


My time in the US was a lot of fun. I arrived in San Antonio on the 16th of July and spent a week there visiting with my father, sister, and grandmother. My grandmother had surgery while I was in town so I was unable to see her as much as I would have liked. Most of my time in SA was spent pursuing food and enjoying American TV. Now that I think about it, those two themes were echoed in St. Louis as well. We had planned a trip to go tubing but it rained every day while I was in SA. I found out later that they had more rain in the month of July than they averaged for the entire year. A lot of rain.

On July 22nd I returned to St. Louis. It was great to see the house at Beacon Hill and, of course, Bari. My mother took off work for the first week I was back so we spent some quality time hanging out at the pool. It was really very nice. I even got to go back to Columbia for a few days and helped Kevin move from there to his new apartment in St. Louis. It was good to see the changes that Columbia has gone through. Back in St. Louis I visited with family and friends at Garry's DVD release/Welcome Home Blake party. It was fun to see Garry's DVD of the trip he, my mother, and Kevin took in May when they came to visit me in Beijing. While I was in town my other grandmother was in the hospital as well. I seem to have a negative effect on my grandmothers and their health. Hopefully they will both do a lot better without my bad vibes impeding their recoveries.


In St. Louis I spent a lot of time catching up with friends and just trying to enjoy being an American in America. In that vein I attended 5 Cardinals games in the four weeks I was in St. Louis. The Cardinals were 5-0 with 5 come from behind victories in games I attended. They also went from 8 games under .500 to just one on the day of my departure. Go Cardbirds.


One week before I left my friend Brian Tash had his bachelor party. It was great for many unmentionable reasons but the very best thing about it was that it brought a lot of my friends together for the first time in a long time. It was a fitting tribute to Brian and I really appreciate him moving the party up a few weeks so I could be there. Thanks Bri.


The end of my trip came so quickly that I was a bit shocked and dismayed when I realized I was leaving in a matter of days. How could I be leaving? I just got there? There were still a lot more things that I wanted to do. A lot more people to see and talk to. More food to eat. As the end came I kind of freaked out. I hadn't mentally prepared myself for my return to China. I was having way too much fun and I began to question my decision to come back. The thinking was if there are so many people I care about in one place why not stay in that country and enjoy their company. I really thought coming here would be easier the second time around but it was harder because I saw everyone I missed so dearly and wanted to bask in the glow of their love and friendship for a bit longer.

Now that I am here I realize that my decision to return, albeit tough, was the right one. The good thing about coming back the second time is that I immediately felt at home. I really feel as comfortable here as I did in the USA. The one glaring difference is the company I keep. I am happy to be back yet I long for the days I had by the pool with an assorted cast of characters and all the laughs and conversations with friends and family. Beijing feels like home to me and that makes me happy and confident that this year will be an application of all the things I learned last year. This year I will be able to expand my knowledge and have even more new and exciting experiences. I feel incredibly lucky to feel at home in two totally different cultures. I feel incredibly lucky to have the friends and family that I do on two sides of the Pacific.

Today I look at apartments and try to get my head around working 9-5 again. Stay tuned for updates on my ever changing circumstances and manic thought process.

Last Train to Beijing

So here I am sitting in an internet cafe in Beijing, writing my last post from China before I head back to the USA in a day and a half.

The last couple of weeks have been crazy but through the fire I have emerged, free of debt and obligation and able to relax as I enjoy my last few hours in Tongzhou.

Lets begin with the last week of school.

I administered the final exam for my students on the 20th of June. They were as nervous as they are for all their exams which I took as a compliment. In my class they get no grade and this, I feel, had caused some of them to lose interest in my class in the face of very important exams for which they receive marks that impact their future education greatly. Seeing all of them nervous and studying before the exam made me happy that they cared enough to do well for me and themselves. The exams went well and everyone in the class improved their marks from the previous exam save one student. I am now convinced he cheated on the last exam but I have no way of proving this theory. I completed my grading and handed in all of my materials on June 22nd. After that I was theoretically home-free. I say, in theory. In theory communism works as well. I was told on the 22nd that I'd have to teach the Korean students for the first week in July. After my initial protest I calmed and resigned myself to facing the sleepiest kids in the world for one last week. To my surprise they were alert and participating most of the week. My lesson planning fell off dramatically even by my own low standards. Each day of that last week I had the kids play Boggle for the first half of the class (a big thank you to Garry Seltzer for providing travel boggle worksheets). The kids loved it and I found it to be a great vocabulary building/spelling exercise. At the end of the week the school year ended, and it was good.

I had been working with travel companies all week to plan a trip to Tibet. I had picked up a book on cheap ways of getting there and all the rules you must follow while in this disputed land. I had done my research and sent at least a dozen faxes to various travel agencies trying to get the best price. I finally found one that was reasonable but the plan fell through due to others and their scheduling conflicts. I was back at square one and now 10 days to my expected departure for Tibet.

Here I will spare you the details of the frantic faxing, permit applications, failed trips to the train station, price gouging, ticket delivery complications, and outright lies that eventually led to the demise of my planned trip. I'll sum it up this way: Nothing in China is easy.

Side note: You must get a travel permit to travel within Tibet and no one is allowed to travel alone. You can only acquire a travel permit through a travel agency. It has been said to me that once in Tibet you can pay your way out of the tour and travel at your leisure.

After my Tibet plan failed I peeled myself up from the floor and quickly threw together a last second trip to Xi'an. Faithful readers will remember that my last planned trip to Xi'an ended with cab with a flat tire not 300 yards from the train station and my flipping out on some poor train station attendant when I was denied entry to the train because I was only 7 minutes early.

I figured that all my bad luck had run out as far as my trip plans were concerned and threw together a quick 4 day trip to Xi'an. I left Beijing by plane on the 10th of July and arrived in the ancient city of Xi'an late in the evening. Xi'an is an old capital of China's. Its most famous attractions, and one of China's most famous, are the Terra Cotta Warriors.

I arrived and checked in at the youth hostel I had booked online back in Beijing. I met some Dutch guys and went out on the town with them. We ended at a Chinese club where I taught them some of the Chinese club games that are wildly popular here. I flashed back to my first weeks and month when these very games were taught to me. I felt old and pretentious. The next morning I met up with two of the Dutch guys and we went to see the Warriors. Xi'an is located right in the geographic middle of China but the Chinese consider it the west. Xi'an was hot as hell. Me and my new found Dutch friends took a series of buses out of Xi'an and one hour later we arrived at the site of the Warriors. I was a giddy little nerd at this point. The Terra Cotta Army and other archaeological finds of that nature were what made me decide on coming to China over Japan, Thailand, and all the other Asian countries where a westerner with a degree can teach. The Warriors themselves were spectacularly assembled. Each one is truly a work of art. Each Warrior is unique. Each has its own facial expression, hairstyle, and adornments and is over 2,050 years old.

There are 3 pits where the Warriors are and several other support buildings and museums that make up the whole of the site. Pit 3 is the smallest with about 20 Warriors, pit 2 is currently still under excavation but is absolutely huge with very little to actually see inside (except 3 Warriors in glass cases where you can get an up close view). Pit 1 is the famous one that houses some 6,000 statues. We were made aware of the layout prior to our arrival and first watched the movie about the history behind the Warriors and then proceeded to the pits, starting with pit 3 and working our way up to pit 1. I would recommend this plan because you save the best and most impressive part for last.

There was one thing that I totally hated about this otherwise fantastic experience. China ruined the potential for the find. Let me explain. The Warriors were first discovered by a farmer who was digging a well in 1974, he alerted the government and a preliminary excavation was conducted at the site of well. They found about a half dozen statues and immediately build the complex that is pit 1. When they built this large building they did not consider what else lay beneath their feet. Several other test pits were dug and two yielded significant enough finds to warrant complexes constructed over them as well. What I am saying here is that the government recognized the value of the site (both culturally and economically in the way of tourism dollars) and rushed to prepare it for the world to see. In this rush they did not consider what else could be found and now it is said that around 6,000 more soldiers exist under the complex. This type of action is quite predictable in China. Mortgaging your past and future for the present is a common practice, one just needs to look to the hutong neighborhoods in Beijing. They are over 700 year old houses that are being destroyed in favor of sky rises. At least the Warriors got a complex.

So after I got off of my soap box I returned to Xi'an and met a few more people at the hostel and went out again that night. The next day I traveled around Xi'an exploring on my own. The hostel where I stayed was in a favorable location for walking to the major sites in the city. Xi'an is a walled city and unlike any other walled city I've come across it actually maintains its wall to this day. Even stranger than that is the fact that the modern city of Xi'an actually exists within the walls of the old city. Within the walls you have high rise apartment and office buildings, malls, fancy shopping districts, slums, and movie theatres. I really liked the layout of the city, a good mix of the old and new. The major sites in the walls are the old Muslim Quarter, the Bell Tower, and the Drum Tower. The Muslim Quarter was fun and had great food and markets where you could just spend hours shopping and bargaining and generally taking in the sights, sounds, and smells that (in China) are unique to this bustling city. After this I took in the Drum Tower. In ancient times the drum was used to coordinate the opening and closing of the city's four giant gates. They had a short performance that equated to a drum circle which showcased different types of drums. After that I went to the Bell Tower. The Bell Tower is located right smack in the middle of the walled city. There is a giant roundabout circling the tower so you must enter from the underground walkway. The Bell Tower has housed the same bell for the last 1300 years, or 750 years after the Terra Cotta Warriors were created and promptly forgotten about. At the Bell Tower there was a short musical performance using traditional Chinese instruments which I found soothing. This marked the first time since I've come here that really enjoyed that type of music. I am so Chinese now.

That night I broke down and went to a movie in the theatre for the first time in almost a year. Some guys from England mentioned that they saw a movie theatre near the hostel and it looked like it was playing the Transformers movie. I was excited about the prospect of seeing a movie in the theatre, plus, it was the Transformers so I had to go. Turns out the movie was dubbed with no subtitles so I sat through the whole thing in Chinese. It looks very cool but the plot line seems thin. I can't tell but I think John Voigt is actually a marionette at this point.

The next day I slept in and played on the internet for a while before boarding my overnight sleeper train from Xi'an to Beijing. The sleeper was a blast. Six people crammed into a stall with six bed. I spoke a lot of Chinese and read my book before nodding off. When I awoke we were still several hours form Beijing so I walked between the cars observing. Chinese people are ready for anything. Nothing really phases them. They are always very social, making conversation with everyone around them, holding their children over buckets while they excrete through a slit in their pants, laughing, smiling. The train was a great time.

This morning I arrived back here in The Jing and tomorrow I say my final goodbyes before leaving for the US. I keep thinking how different things will be when I get back. The more I think about it things and people are really the same. People will still be obsessed with their cell phones, the internet, and their love lives. The only difference will be that in America I will understand all the inane and vapid conversations that happen in bars, restaurants, night clubs, and everywhere else people congregate.

When I get back to the US I'll post about changes, differences, things I've forgotten, and maybe things I understand a little better. I'll also have a chance to upload more pictures. Take care my faithful readers. Papa's coming home.

Family Visit Part 2 and The End of School

Sorry I have taken so long to fill you in on the second half of the family's visit to China. Things have been a bit crazy here due to the end of the semester and my mad scramble to ties up loose ends before I return to the US. By the way, I will be returning to my homeland on July 16th. I'll be in San Antonio for about a week before heading to St. Louis on July 22nd. I will be home for about a month and return to China on August 24th. I have recently accepted a teaching position at Wall Street English, a private English school near the Forbidden City in the heart of Beijing. The school has an enrolment of 2,000 so I think I'll be a little busier next year. The decision to stay next year was a difficult one as I really miss my friends and family. The key factors coaxing me into my final decision were learning more Chinese, making boat loads of cash (relatively), and the Olympics. Looking back at what I have just written I come off kind of badly but although I am only 25 I am starting to think about my plans for the future. Maybe I'm too late in doing this but there is no time like the present to start I guess. By the time I leave China next year I hope to have a few more marketable assets as well as a good foundation of money to make my life a little easier.

Enough of all this serious conversation that only displays my ignorance of all things 'grown-up'.

When I last wrote I told you that after Kev's visit to Beijing he and I met up with DeDe and Garry in Shanghai. The night before Kev and I left Beijing we went out to dinner one last time with Bryne and Cindy. The four of us went to a hot-pot restaurant where THE BEER IS FREE. I found this to be amazing and have since been there twice more. Kev and I had our fair share and then caught a taxi to a hotel near the airport. We woke up at 5:00 a.m. to catch our 7:15 a.m. flight to Shanghai. I think both of us were feeling a bit under the weather throughout the flight but our pains were eased by 40-Year-Old Virgin playing on a loop through the flight. When we arrived we met up with Garry and DeDe and our private tour guide. We were then transported to our hotel The Ritz Carlton-Portman. It was the Ritz so it was great. The Ritz Carlton-Portman has the best bed in the world, bar-none. After we checked in we commenced with the sightseeing. First up was the Jade Buddha Temple.

Side note: There is very little of traditional cultural value in Shanghai. It is often referred to as the business center of China and as such the city is more focused on constructing skyscrapers and buildings with auspicious architecture than preserving it's few traditional sites.

The Jade Buddha Temple is a large complex with interesting architecture in it's own right. I think our tour guide may have been a bit frustrated with us through the day because we spent a lot of the time talking with each other about what we had done since we last met.

After the Temple we went to a pedestrian market with traditional Ming architecture. The market was very busy with tourists and peddlers. I really enjoyed the architecture.

Side note: Am I an old man already? I am really fascinated by architecture recently. I think this is a product of China (Beijing specifically) bringing in many internationally famous architects to construct venue's and business centers for the Olympics. Seriously, many of these new constructions are wicked cool.

We spent just a short time in the market before heading to the vast Yu Garden. The garden was a few hundred years old and as formerly the private garden of the provincial minister during the Qing Dynasty. It was quite beautiful with many ponds, tea rooms, and meeting houses. Probably the most auspicious occurrence was what will some day be refereed to simply as 'The Picture' in Seltzer family lore. Like most tourist places in China there was a small operation of people with traditional Chinese court costumes who will take your picture for a small fee. I have avoided these things at all costs for two reasons:

1) It may sound pretentious but I feel like I am degrading traditional culture by doing this. (Never have I seen a Chinese person put on this garb, only white folk.)

2) I look ridiculous. I'd rather act ridiculous than look ridiculous.

Garry Seltzer, however, loves this sort of stuff and even has a picture of himself in such attire that he took in Hong Kong some years ago. I protested vehemently. In the end how could I say no to a man who brought me to Shanghai and had me staying at the Ritz in that beautiful bed. With the bed in mind I put on all the gear including a pointy hat. The four of us lined up for the picture and as we did quite a large crowd had gathered to watch us and take their own pictures.

After our tour of the garden we got back in the car and headed to The Bund. The Bund is the heart of old Shanghai. Shanghai was part of the concessions during the opium wars and as a result has maintained an international feel throughout it's history. Before the Europeans came to Shanghai is was a tiny fishing village located on the mud flats of the Yangzee river delta. It is along the Bund that the British and French constructed buildings in the distinctive architectural styling of their homelands. The Bund abounds with old banks, trading houses, and hotels facing the Yangzee river. On the opposite side of the river lies new Shanghai with all it's skyscrapers, new banks, trading houses, and hotels. If you have ever seen a picture of Shanghai than it is almost certainly this modern skyline or The Bund.

At the end of this long day we retired to the hotel and just spent some time basking in it's luxuriousness.

The next day was again filled with sightseeing. It all started with a wonderful buffet breakfast that included lox, fresh pineapple juice, and french toast. We were without a tour guide this day but we did have the services of a private driver available to us. I had to call on my limited Chinese speaking ability to communicate with our driver. There was a lot of heat on me to organize things for the family, luckily the driver and I could understand each other well enough.

The first stop was to the Pearl TV Tower. The Pearl Tower is one of the largest towers in the world. It's distinctive features are the two large 'balls', one at the base and one located half way up the tower. We went to the top floor and got a great view of the entire city. The view would have been a little better if it wasn't for the smog limiting our view. Anyway so we were all really high and then we got really low. After the tower we went on a river cruise that goes up the Yangzee to the shipping port and back down past the Bund and skyscrapers that line the river. The cruise was very relaxing and the enormity of the skyscrapers was accentuated by our viewing angle.

After the river cruise we went to The Shanghai Museum. The Shanghai Museum has an excellent collection of blah, blah, blah. Personally, I'd seen all the stuff they had there before except two things:

1) 6,000-year-old Chinese pottery. (which looks a lot like 6,000 year old Greek pottery, Israeli pottery, or Native American pottery)

2) Cameron Diaz

The family was gathering around discussing the plans for the rest of the day when I recognized the woman who rushed by me with a gaggle of people in tow. Without skipping a beat I said "...and that's Cameron Diaz." The fam didn't believe me at first but they went to the booth and upon further review, it was her. We lingered for a bit and I continued to look at the exhibit in front of me as she walked next to me while looking at the exhibit. I turned to her and said, "Hello Cameron, how are ya'?" She was taken by surprise and replied with a giggle, "I'm good how are you?", I turned away from her and back to the exhibit and coolly said, "I'm alright." It was a bizarre experience.

Later the fam went for a rest while I went to go check out the ancient pottery. I was looking at a piece when I looked up and on the other side of the glass it was Cameron Diaz again. She giggled and gave a little wave before leaving. Later DeDe wanted to go to the gift shop. We followed her and waited while she shopped. Cameron Diaz was also there and by this time a group of American teenagers had spotted her and they lost their minds in the adjacent room. DeDe was shopping and shopping and shopping. I grew impatient and asked DeDe to finish up. She replied rather loudly and coldly, "Why don't you just go talk to your new girlfriend?" Then I said something I never thought I'd have to say, "Mom, don't embarrass me in front of Cameron Diaz."

Later Cameron and I made out in her penthouse at the Ritz and I helped her name her new dog and she bought me a Ferrari and then I woke up. Oh, what could have been.

At the end of that day we went for a nice dinner at Tony Roma's near the hotel. I had ribs for the first time in ages. We also able to buy Spiderman 3 from a street DVD vendor and watched it in the hotel room.

On Sunday we spent the day in the hotel spa in the pool, sauna, and jacuzzi. We were then treated to a traditional Chinese massage by Garry Seltzer. Garry did not administer the massage he just paid for it.

On Monday I flew back to Beijing and resumed my old life of sans movie stars, soft beds, and breakfast buffets.

Now I am preparing to dismantle my room in anticipation of my departure from LuHe High School. Last Friday I gave my students their exam and last Thursday I gave them a tearful goodbye in our last class.

I am currently planning a trip to Tibet for one week. I should be departing to Lhasa on July 4th in honor of the Founding Fathers. In order to get to Tibet you must get a special visa and go with a tour. Single visitors without tour guides are not allowed to travel around Tibet. Either going out or coming back I will take the new high-speed railway. The trip from Beijing lasts 48 hours but it goes through some of the most beautiful scenery in all of China. The trip will be costly but I am sure it will be an extremely unique and exciting experience.

This is probably my last blog from China but I will try to keep you all updated on my readjustment back to the western lifestyle and my impending return to China. I will be blogging about China again once I return. Take care everyone. Dsai Jien.

The Fam Come to China Part 1

This was a very exciting and busy week for me here in Capital City. After months of anticipation the Seltzer clan finally made it to Beijing. Kevin stayed in Beijing for a week while Garry and DeDe toured parts of the east coast of China in Shandong Province. Kevin and I met up with the parents in Shanghai and spent four great days in China's financial capital. This blog post will cover the time Kevin and I spent together in Beijing.

Garry, DeDe, and Kevin came in on the night of the 16th. I went to their hotel near Tienanmen to meet them. While I waited for them I couldn't help but wonder what they would think of my life here. As I stood outside the Peninsula Hotel, one of the nicest and most expensive in the city, I was approached by a beggar woman and her baby. She looked to be in a bad way, worse than most. She did not want money instead she asked if she could have the water I was carrying. She wanted to give it to her child. I obliged and gave her a few kwai. This whole scene played out in front of a row of shops that includes Louis Vuitton, Versace, and Gucci. This scene, in a nutshell, summarizes China in my experience. Moments after this the car and it's precious cargo pulled up. Kevin yelled from the window and I saw their faces through the tinted glass. I was instantly back at home. They got out and we hugged and all that good stuff and then we checked into the hotel. The Peninsula hotel was amazing. Garry and DeDe were upgraded to the nicest hotel room I've ever been inside of without getting kicked out for trespassing. Kev and I stayed in what was the second nicest hotel room I've ever been in. The family was tired so Garry and DeDe went to bed while Kevin and I went to find some food before following suit.

The next day was packed with activities. We went on a Hutong tour north of the Forbidden City and then the family came out to Tongzhou to see my school, workmates, and friends. We got to my school just as classes were letting out and collected some of my friends before heading off to lunch. Jen, Kevin (NY), Bryne, and Cindy joined us for lunch at a restaurant located on Tongzhou's famous Restaurant Street. Lunch was nice. We all had Beijing Roast Duck and Cindy even showed us how to create the perfect wrap using nothing but chopsticks. I must take this opportunity to mention that everything I have and will describe in this blog post was meticulously and professionally filmed by Garry and Kevin Seltzer in order to be used in, what I think, will be the greatest DVD GKS Home Video has ever produced.

After lunch we headed back to the school and I gave them the full tour of my campus. Cindy accompanied us and will be the star of the upcoming DVD. We were even able to go into my classes where I introduces the family to my students. The kids got a real thrill out of seeing them and, as Garry kept the tape rolling, they all think they'll be movie stars soon. I was really glad they got to see what 60 kids in one class looks like. Following the tour of the campus I took them to the market near my school where I buy fruit and dumplings on occasion. Now is a good time to mention that Kevin formed something of an obsession with dumplings while visiting me. I think if you were to ask him today what Chinese words he remembers he would reply Baozi and Jiaozi, the names of two different types of dumplings. At one point Chinese people would say goodbye to them and he would just reply, 'Baozi'.

That evening we returned to the hotel before going to the Golden Jaguar for dinner. We went to a different branch of the Golden Jaguar that is located near the Peninsula Hotel. This one had the same delicious food as the other one but it was about 1/3 the size of the 'original'. This Golden Jaguar had a more extensive dessert table which I investigated thoroughly. After dinner jet lag set in on everyone even those of us who had not flown in the day before. A meal at the Golden Jaguar will do that to you. Garry and DeDe had to get up early and catch a flight to Qingdao so we said our goodbyes and goodnights early that evening. Garry had very generously arranged for us to have a tour guide and driver for the weekend. Kevin and I went out on Friday and toured the sites in the center of Beijing; we went to Tienanmen Square, The Forbidden City, and the Temple of Heaven. These are all places I've been before but it was fun to go with a tour guide this time. After a long day of touring Kev and I headed to a new hotel in the city.

That night we went out for a night on the town with Bryne. We first went to dinner and had a real authentic foreigner-in-China experience. At dinner there was a man and two women sitting at the table next to ours. I can't remember how it happened but I started talking to the man and before you know it he was pouring us shots of Baijiu, Chinese white lightning. I had told Kev about the etiquette in these sorts of situations and he was really good about not offending this guy. The man was totally focused on making me drink as much as possible. It finally ended with me a little worse for wear. After that we went to one of my favorite spots, Nan Jie. We had cheap drinks and a lot of fun. The next morning Kev and I got up quite early for a really long day of touring that included The Great Wall, a jade factory, the Ming Tombs, and the Summer Palace. That day we were joined on the tour by Mary-Ann and Dieter from Germany. I was initially upset that Kevin and I would have to deal with other people as we were a little under the weather from the night before. As it turned out Mary-Ann and Dieter were really a lot of fun and the nicest Germans I have ever met.

We went to a portion of the Great Wall that is not as busy as parts of the wall that are closer to Beijing. Wen we got there we realized that proximity to Beijing wasn't the only thing keeping most tourists away. The part of the wall where we were was damn steep. You can only understand the vastness of the wall once you are there. It snakes across 3,000 miles of China and in some extremely remote places. We got some good pictures and Kevin got some video of the whole thing. When we were leaving the wall there was a man with a bactrian camel and a wardrobe full of costumes. Kevin couldn't resist and paid the man his 40 kwai in order to dress like a Qing Dynasty emperor and ride the camel for 5 minuets. I have never seen anyone so entertained by anything as Dieter was seeing Kevin on that camel. After the wall we had lunch and headed to the Ming Tombs. The Ming Tombs is actually a large complex of tombs with a very large tomb in the middle for the first Ming emperor. It was very interesting especially the museum that housed some of the burial items from the tomb. After this leg of the tour we parted ways with Mary-Ann and Dieter and Kevin and I went on to the Summer Palace. It was a nice day so the Summer Palace was packed with people. The palace is located in the northwestern part of Beijing and was actually burned down and sacked by the British during the Opium Wars. The last empress of the Qing dynasty rebuilt it in the late 19th century. It is a really cool place with many different buildings and temples surrounding a large lake. The Summer Palace was out last stop for the day and that was a good thing because we were exhausted.

That night we went out with some friends from my school. We started at Nan Jie, yet again, and ended up at this big nightclub that is something of a Beijing landmark apparently. I was glad Kevin got to experience the assault on the senses that results from being in a Chinese night club.

On Sunday morning Kev and I went to get some dumplings in the morning before heading back to Tongzhou. I got Kevin checked into his hotel and gave him a tour of all the important sites in Tongzhou like where I eat noodles, buy dvd's, got my xbox, and buy food. That night we had some kind of delicious dinner. I can't remember where we went because it seemed like every meal I had while Kevin was in town was amazing. He even commented that, 'China is eating'. He's right. Food is cheap and delicious and not as bad for you as western food so you can afford to eat a ton of it all the time. Monday I had to work in the morning and then Kevin and I headed into the city with Cindy. We planned on going to the Capital Museum but it was closed for some sort of official event. We instead went to the Military Museum and that was interesting, especially with Cindy's commentary all of which was filmed by Kevin for the DVD. Like I said Cindy will be a star.

It was almost noon when we left the Military Museum in pursuit of nourishment. Cindy suggested we go to a place that she simply refers to as, 'The Noodle Dancing Place'. It is actually a really nice hotpot restaurant with amazing service. I think that Kevin got a personal escort to the bathroom. The hotpot was good but the best part came at the end when they brought out the noodle dancer. This is a guy who has a thin strip of dough that he whips around and stretches out through the course of his dance, hence Noodle Dancer. He had some good moves that I plan on stealing. After lunch we went shopping at a market where you can bargain and bargain we did. The stall workers are usually all over white people to buy things for ridiculous prices but once they saw we were with Cindy the happiness of the potential for ripping us off left their eyes and was replaced by a disdainful glare directed at Cindy. She bargained down several high ticket items and even got Kevin a pair of Jordans for pennies on the dollar. After shopping we headed back to Tongzhou and went to Cindy's apartment where her mom made Kevin jiaozi because I told her it was his favorite food. That night we went to have Korean BBQ and a few beers with Bryne.

On Tuesday I had to work all day so Kevin was out on his own. He went to Capital Museum and The Beijing Zoo. I tried to convince him to avoid the zoo because of the horror stories I've heard. Apparently they have very tiny spaces for most of their animals. Someone even told me that they still use cages for most exhibits. Kev also went to the aquarium which I didn't even know Beijing had. Unfortunately it rained all day on Tuesday. We hadn't had a full day of rain all year. Kev returned to the school and we played basketball with the PE teachers. Kevin was good and the PE teachers were impressed. Again we ate. On Wednesday Kev and I went to the Lama Temple which is a Tibetan Buddhist temple in the north eastern part of the city. After that we went to a big shopping street and had some lunch before going for a longer look at Tienanmen Square and the new Beijing Opera House which is under construction. That evening we again played basketball and ate well.

Thursday I had to work all day and Kev was a bit tired from all the activities of the previous week. He actually attended my conversation class and I used him in an exercise. The kids were giddy. After my conversation class Cindy invited Kevin to do a Q&A session with her class. Kevin agreed and was asked some bizarre questions like 'Do you like Allen Iverson?' and 'Do you think Audrey Hepburn was a great woman?' That evening we relaxed and I packed for our trip to Shanghai.

I was really glad to see Kevin and be able to spend time with my brother. For those of you who don't know Kevin he graduated law school four days before coming to see me. He must have been looking forward to this trip for multiple reasons. I'm glad he got to meet many of my friends and see me in the classroom.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of The Fam Comes to China. Highlights include Garry becoming the emperor of China with me as his foreign counsel, me chatting it up with Cameron Diaz, and steel balls of fiery death.

May Vacation

This post has been a long time coming. Things have been busy around here recently. The first week of May was yet another 'Golden Week' here in China in honor of International Labor Day. A week off for Labor Day means, yet again, that an estimated 120,000 million people were on the move to various vacation spots. One that is popular among Beijingers is Beidaihe. I went there with Jenny, a foreign teacher from New Zealand. We left on the Monday of that week off because I had to work Sunday. I had to administer a mid-term exam for the Korean students. Man are those kids lazy. I had a few students sleeping through the examination. I was perplexed because this would NEVER happen with the Chinese students. The Korean students are generally more 'westernized' than the Chinese so maybe their malaise and lack of motivation can be chalked up to that fact.

We headed out by bullet train on Monday morning at 6:20 a.m. This was an early start by any standards but factor in that we live over an hour from the main railway station and I had to wake up at 4:45. After an hour and a half on the train we were in Beidaihe. This is a popular location for the Communist Party elite and there are many high end stores and fancy, sprawling, and gated resorts to accommodate them. We stayed at a ramshackle joint. The weather in Beijing has been pleasant to warm recently but in Beidaihe it was cool with a stiff sea breeze ushering in colder air from the Bohai Sea. One of my main reasons for going on this excursion was to get some sun and surf time but that was quite limited due to the weather and icy cold water. At the time of our arrival there were very few people in the town but by day two the streets were humming with people.

Our second day on the coast Jenny and I took a bus north to the larger, more cosmopolitan city of Qinhuangdao. The beaches there were fantastic and the weather a bit warmer. After taking in some of the scenery we headed north again to a town whose name escapes me. It is near this town that the Great Wall ends in the ocean. This was the main impetus for heading there. The city has an old wall that incorporates itself into the Great Wall as well. This was my first trip to any part of the Great Wall and I was kind of excited to be going to such a famous destination. They call this part of the wall 'The Dragon's Head' due to the fact that the Chinese say that the Great Wall looks like the back of a dragon. Jenny was expecting an actual dragon's head at the end of the wall but she was sorely disappointed. The wall actually goes about 60 feet into the ocean. It was quite busy there that day but the other tourists could in no way take away from the experience. There was also a large stone maze within the fort that was created to man this critical post in the wall. The maze was pretty big but I dominated it. I know it seems childish to brag about such accomplishments, but damn did I dominate that maze. It made me realize that I've always been good at mazes. Ever since I was a kid I could easily handle the mazes on the kids menu. Opportunities for maze completion exercises have been few and far between as I've gotten older but it was good to see that I still have the skills. After basking in my success for some time Jenny and I headed to find a place to eat. We ended up taking a three wheeled car to a local restaurant. Three wheeled cars are somewhat common in China and until this point I had not taken one. It is really just a glorified motorcycle with a full cab over the frame. It was fun. The restaurant was good and I believe that we were the first white people to ever go there. In the evening we returned to Beidaihe.

We went out for dinner and were focused on keeping it relatively cheap. We found a small outdoor restaurant that had tanks and tanks of various edible sea creatures. We settled into a table and ordered some fish. The fish was good but about halfway through I saw a man eating small crabs. I told Jenny of my fondness for crabs and she suggested I get some. I ordered three small crabs and when they came I realized that I really only enjoy the claws. What do you eat on the inside of a crab if you can't eat the claw meat? I attempted to find an answer to that question but I'm afraid it is nothing. We lingered a bit more and enjoyed a couple of beers and then finally asked for the check. 500 kwai. 500 kwai for a fish three crabs and four beers. It was price gouging of the highest order. We complained and protested for a while but just admitted defeat, paid the bill, and left cursing the place all the way home. The truth of it is that we should have asked before we ordered but what is equally true is that they saw a couple of white faces and decided to take advantage. It happens. Hell, foreigners in the US get it a lot worse than that on a daily basis I'm sure.

The next morning we were scheduled to head back to Beijing. I was feeling awful. I'm not sure, but I believe it was the crab guts that got to me. I was sic as a dog and with no bullet train tickets available we had to take the bus. This meant that what could have been a hour and a half long trip ended up being 4 hours. I was feeling like hell the whole time. We finally made it back to Beijing and my dormitory and I just slept for the next few days. I was alright after that. Damn those guys and their over priced poisonous crabs.

Friday of last week was the final day of one of the biggest music festivals of the year in Beijing, the MIDI Festival. This year it was held in a park in the Northwest part of Beijing. They had five stages each featuring a different type of music. My favorite was the Chinese Folk stage. It wasn't folk music as in traditional Chinese music, it was American Folk-inspired Chinese music. It was actually quite good and I ended up spending most of my time there. On the other stages they had screaming metal bands, Chinese hip-hop acts, Drum and Bass, and high pitched singing metal bands. I ended up staying out there for the better part of eight hours before heading to a restaurant and bar in the university district of Wudokou. From there I went to a club cleverly called Propaganda. It is one of the better places in the area but it mainly attracts a younger crowd of Korean students who study at the major universities in the area. As I walked in with Bryne I noticed a kid staring at me. I pointed him out to Bryne and he made an awful realization that this kid was in fact a student of his. I was displeased. I spent the rest of my time there trying to avoid doing anything ridiculous which is quite the task for me. I left later confident that my image in the Korean community was still intact.

This weekend I will go to Xi'an, home to the Terra Cotta Army and the tomb of the first emperor of China. This Emperor Qin was a maniac. He drank mercury because he believed it would give him strength and creativity and he also built the Great Wall. He was the first person to unify the land of China and he did it in quite bloody fashion. This guy was a total narcissist. He had construction on his tomb begin when he was a teenager. What kind of teenager plans their tomb lay out to include and army of terracotta and rivers of mercury representing all the rivers in the kingdom? Would China have been better off if he had just been thinking about girls and beer like other teenagers? Hopefully I'll be able to answer these questions by the time I return. I will also be traveling by myself for the first time so I'm anxious to see how that goes. Hopefully my Chinese is up to snuff and I don't get sold into white slavery. My trip will only be three days long as I must return to greet Garry, DeDe, and Kevin Seltzer in Beijing. I am thrilled to see them and can't wait. They have put in a special request to go to the Golden Jaguar. It is an experience I can not deny them. Dsai Jien