Feed Me Part 2

Let me first apologize for the lack of pictures associated with this post. I had an outing to Fragrant Hills Park that I will write about soon. The park was amazing and I have plenty of pictures to share.

But first...

The other day one of the Chinese English teachers invited a couple of us out to dinner. Little did I know she was springing for Beijing Roast Duck. It is a rather beautiful thing. They take a duck and puff it up with air, coat in something sugary like molasses, and roast the hell out of it. It is served with what amount to mini tortillas (except they are paper thin). They are more like spring roll skins. The way you eat this phenomenal thing is by placing some meat in the tortillaesque thing along with green onion strips and a piece of cucumber. The topper to all of this is a plum sauce that almost made me weep it was so delicious.

The Chinese teacher (Cindy) brought along her famous 'hus' (that is her nickname for husband). I call him famous because he kind of is. He directs stage plays and movies all over China. While at this wonderful dinner we discussed possible roles for a white guy. He told me that he will contact me the next time something comes up. Hopefully that will be soon because I can't wait to hit it big on the stage and screen here.

This dining experience was almost textbook. It was virtually identical to the ones outlined in all the books I read before arriving. Cindy's 'hus' was the perfect Chinese host. The first classic thing he did was order way too much food. There were twice as many dishes on the table as there were people. He was also ever vigilant regarding our drinks. Any time any of us got close to finishing our beers or tea he would swoop right in as soon as your glass hit the table and full you right up. He was also very careful to point the spout of the pot away from anyone at the table. This is also customary.

One dish that was served, and served in massive portions of 25 or 50, was duck head. One of the older teachers we were with refused to try it and the look on out hosts' faces were that of disappointment bordering on sadness. Bryne and I immediately decided it was up to us to restore the honor of our hosts. We cracked them right open and were instructed to eat the brain first. So, I did and then moved on to the eyes. There is really not much else to eat on the duck head but the Chinese in the restaurant sure found a way. By the time they were done with the heads there was little left but the bill and eye sockets. This got me thinking about how wasteful they would think out butchers are back at home. People all over the world eat more parts of more animals than we do. Tripe abounds here but it really is the one thing I avoid at all costs. Tripe and organ meat stew are off the menu for me. I have been served organ meat stew in restaurants when I have tried to employ the blind luck method of ordering. All the menus at the restaurants I frequent feature Chinese characters only. 90% of the time I get served something amazing by just pointing to a random dish on a random page. The other 10% consists of organ meat and other things I would describe as detritus. I have recently learned the words for beef, pork, and chicken and these words are proving almost as invaluable as hello and thank you.

Yesterday afternoon Bryne and I were patrolling our beat on the mean streets of Tongzhou when we were approached by a lady handing out flyers for a new night club's grand opening party which was occurring that night. It had a picture of Coolio on the front so we had to go. That night we arrived and the place was packed. No sign of Coolio. They had professional male and female dancers stationed around the dance floor. It was a pretty cool place. There were two Chinese gentlemen sitting at a table near the dance floor and they called us over and handed us beers. They were nice guys but one of them was wasted. His friend was keeping him in control all night. They bought us a few beers as we sat at their table. When the dancers cleared out and people started to get on the dance floor these guys were all over it. They were going nuts and got on a stage with a stripper pole and started dancing like the world was ending. They motioned for me to join them but I was a little reluctant. They then jumped off the stage and physically dragged me up there. (Some of you out there might be thinking, 'Yeah right. I know you and you went willingly.' It was late and I wanted to go get some hotpot before hitting the hay.) They had me in a sandwich on stage while they created new, never before seen dance moves involving a pole. These guys were out of control but we had a fun time with them and they were upset when we told them we had to leave. Many hugs and handshakes were exchanged before we got out of there. A fun time was had by all.